Here’s the best thing about depression. When your mind tells you to get up and shake it off, that you’ll feel better if you get up and work out and take a shower, that none of this is important or even a big deal, that you’re still an awesome person who’s capable of doing great things as long as you shake this off. When your mind tells you that, the depressed mind tells you you’ll never be good enough because you are useless, you’ll never be thin or pretty or smart or good enough and nothing will change that. It says you’re worthless and you might as well stay inside and eat because none of it matters anyway. You’ll still be just as worthless tomorrow.

Done with school, new goals:

So the semester is over and Corbin is graduating, which means we have time to get back on track health wise. That being said, I’m making some new goals for myself.

• May 29 we’re getting our engagement pictures taken, and so starting to today I’m getting really serious about eating well and working out so that I can look great for these pictures.
• My family is doing a fitness challenge and everyone has gotten really intense about it. Usually I’m not up for competition, but this time I don’t want to lose. So the goal is 30-60 minutes a DAY of physical activity to get points, as well as walking more (we’re counting minutes and steps).
• Since I started this blog, I haven’t actually lost any weight. I have 2 tattoos I want to get, but can’t until I reach my weight goals. I’m trying really hard not to get frustrated though. I’m a little person, I don’t lose weight easily.

Anyways. I’m trying to blog more because it keeps me accountable. Let’s just hope it works.

Maddie

As I sit here eating my delicious salad for lunch, I decided it was probably time for an update. Both Corbin and I have been insanely busy which leaves almost no time for working out or even making food at home. That being said I’m still trying to make healthier choices when eating, eating only until I’m full, and not eating 2 dinners (which is really hard for me because I’m ALWAYS hungry after rehearsal).

I also tried on my wedding dress yesterday for the first time since January, and I didn’t really see a noticeable difference in my shape. That has definitely motivated me to take this more seriously, because the last thing I want to be worried about on my wedding day is if I’m sucking in enough or if my arms look fat.

So my family is restarting the Knight Family Fit Challenge (we log our minutes working out and the weekly winner gets a prize) and something I like to call the Circle of Unrelenting Judgement, which is a facebook group I started with my friends to log what I eat and get support from them. Both of these helped me stay on track last time, so I’m hoping it will again and get me through all the way to November. :)